I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
