there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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