i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
