Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize