I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
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