so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
