This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
