Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
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