There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
