woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Boobs speak an international language.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
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