My room smells like vodka and shame
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I think your dad took our porno
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
