Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
