so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Slut skills are useful in every country.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
