She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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