i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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