I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
A+ Viking dick
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
