Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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