lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
i've created a new STD.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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