Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
