When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
