some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
