Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
