just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize