I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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