I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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