I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
