we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
