I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
