if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
