one might say we're banned from that church
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize