I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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