Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
This beer is not sobering me up at all
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize