Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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