I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
