I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I need to calm my uterus...
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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