this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
