; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I want to be your penis for a week.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
