i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
