You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
