Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
operation harelip BJ is a go
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
