Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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