Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
