what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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