Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
