i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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