we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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