Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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