She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
This is classic penis vs brain.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
