Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
