Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
