He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
