You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
