I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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