You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I CAN MOONWALK!
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
