he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
