we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize