Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
