We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
