i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
