My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
