So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
