she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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