So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
