FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
