4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
