They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
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