walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
