Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
