oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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