I'm drive I can fine osifer
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
