He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
