things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
